After last night, I could never be a politician.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
