I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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