I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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