do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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