Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Randomize
