Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
