pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
