woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
