garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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