I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
