i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Someone came in the potted fern
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
