Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
