I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sorry about my life...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
