My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
