Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
