"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
