All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
