Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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