Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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