Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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