We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm at about main and main street
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize