wrigley field is MILF paradise
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
