Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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