The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize