I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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