I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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