Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
