Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
