how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
