i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
