So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
