worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
