Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
nutella sex= disaster
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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