apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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