I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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