somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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