sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
