your room smells of hookers.
And success
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
