He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
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