im six kinds of drunk right now
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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