i think my tv is drunk
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
