i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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