I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
