I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
