She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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