I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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