im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I use my feet as sexual weapons
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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