I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
