direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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