"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
