i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
