One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize