This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
