I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
