You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
