She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
