Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
