so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
