Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i believe in u and ur pee
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
