You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize