You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
