My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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