if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
