Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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