I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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