also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
