Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
