Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
