I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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