i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
