i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
the raccoons are back...
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