Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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